New York Auto Show

I went to the New York Auto Show a while back and saw some great cars. For your viewing pleasure i have posted them below

New Mustang 

Hybrid Engine 

Another Bentley I think 

This is actually a $180,000 Ford believe it or not 

Another Benley I think 

Lamborgini 

Happy Birthday Craig

I would like to take this time to wish one of my best buds Craig Shames a Happy Birthday. I have decided to make a top ten list in his honor:

You Know You're Craig Shames if:
#10) You check the paper for job openings such as General Manager of a Professional Baseball Team
#9) You believe that every pitch you bounced in softball was just a bad call and the ump is hatin on you
#8) You think driving your car is a video game and yell "weeee" when going around a turn
#7) Regarding you and Natalie Portman, you believe its not a matter of if but when
#6) Your penis has the racial tolerance of the grandwizard of the KKK
#5) You believe the food pyrimad consists of bagged carrots, pretzels, and twizzlers.
#4) You have trained your dog to be exactly like you and hate every one
#3) You have a new best friend every day
#2) You are walking topless on the beach and people ask you why you are wearing a sweater
#1) Your take on alcohol and women are the same...."I've never had any"

-Hope you enjoyed this. In all seriousness Craig is a great guy.........................for me to poop on!! No but seriously, Craig is great.............................to throw rocks at!! Okay, okay I'll stop I love Craig....................as a backstop. No for real though he is the man and a great friend so happy birthday.

Craig Shames: The Legend of the Yetti

1850-Himalyan Moutains-The first documentation of the Yetti. It was given this name by the locals and later would be known as the abominable snowman. The Himalayan moutain dwellers did not know what to think of it and it was best described as half man half ape.

1925-Asia- Footprints nearly double the size of a large mans footprint are found in the mud. They are looked at by forensics and do not match that of homo erectus, homo sapien, or that of any other member of the ape family.

1980- Canada- The first video documentation of the yetti is filmed. The pure size of the beast is beyond comprehension and physicists estimate that from the video that it is well over 8 feet tall. This video would change the myth of abominable snowman to reality.

1999-Baldwin Harbor, NY- The yetti once again is spotted, this time coming out of the pool at the residence of one Brian malfettone. The eyewitnesses described the beast as the hariest animal that they had ever seen in their lives. The first eyewitness who reported the beast said "At first I just thought it was some guy wearing his hearshaped sweater, but when I realized it was July I knew this couldn't be the case this is when I began to run. I didn't want to find out what the beast was capable of" When asked if it could have just been a man the other eyewitness said "Oh no, definitely not. This was far too hairy to be a human being. "

2005-Hicksville, NY- The yetti in its latest appearance was spotted pitching a softball game at Catiack Field in Hicksville, NY. Well the abominable snowman was previously thought to be only myth/tall tale/ old wives tale it is now confirmed. The reaction to this discovery by experts was pure shock. NYU forensic scientist Michael Schott said "In all the places the yetti has been spotted over the years, usually cold climates and mountainous conditions, we just never expected that true unveiling would come at a softball fieldin long island." Apparently the Yetti enjoys softball, is an avid Yankee Fan, and enjoys long walks on the beach. After capturing the beast they found out what many suspected all along, the hairy animal was a human being. His name, Craig Shames. They asked it about the heart shaped patch, he responded by saying "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" Perhaps just misunderstand, just a missing link who wants to play softball, the legend of the abominable snowman dies today but lives on in the heart and body hair of Craig Shames, the worlds hariest human being who will now take on the new name of Jewbacca.

Vegas Trip

I will be going to Las Vegas for my cousin Zeeks bachelor party from June 2nd to June 5th. I am his best man so all I am in saying is that this party will be wild and he will have a sick time. We will be staying at Mandalay Bay which currently has the best pool in all of vegas w/ rock cliffs and 10 acres of sand and othe nonsense. Anyone else want to go???
Go to www.mandalybay.com

Softball season preview

It was the fouth inning of the second game of the softball world series last fall, the Gamers, dominant all year, were the team to beat. They held their first place spot like Craig Shames (their manager) holds his you know what.....yes it was that tight. They were three innings away from completing there season of domination, when suddenly it fell apart. The bats went cold, the errors became contageous, and the legs became tired. They fell apart in the last game and half, creating a feeling of blueballs that could only be matched by Pam Anderson riding you, slapping you in the face, and then leaving. No one really knows what happened. Some blamed the team of hr hitters for not taking some singles, others blamed the sun, and one player even blamed his father for jinxing the team, for as he left the team instantly began losing. It was no coincidence that this man looked like buddah....perhaps they should have prayed to him.
The best reason however was given by ESPN analyst Peter Gammons. Gammons said "There just simply weren't enough Rolls on the team." Could this really be the reason? Could it really be that champions are born and not made? Did Russell and Laney really not procreate enough? This year the gamers have the done what any smart gm would do, genetic cloning. This year David Roll will be playing three outfield spots and catching. Rob Roll will be playing all 4 infield spots and pitching and Greg Roll will fill in for CF. There will only be one Greg since he is already a clone of Rob and could not be cloned again. With this sort of talent the team should bat rougly .800 but with all of these Rolls there are concerns of ego problems in the clubhouse. Mike Lupica of the New York Times said "My concern is that all of the clones will die halfway through the season when Mr. and Mrs. Roll can no longer feed them. There's just too many". The assistant gm's solution, informercials to "save the children", which will ask America to adopt a roll clone for as little as 10 cents a day. Adopters will receive a picture and letter from their Roll clone thanking them for their support. For more information please go to adoptarollcone.com